Pillow fighting for perfection.

I want the same person to talk to as when we first met, when we didn’t fight for stupid points. When we didn’t push eachother’s buttons like telling someone is better in bed than you or making comments that are negative towards the other person because your life reminds you of her.
I want to call you by your first name, not your last.
I’ve reached a point that you’re Brad/Bradford all together. Any way I address you is a way that I’ve never thought I’d address you in my life. I promised myself even that I wouldn’t and now I do.

Have you come to realize that we are absolutely terrible at this distance thing?
We both keep doing this. Saying okay, we won’t talk/be friends, and we end up desperately checking up and posting to each other via tumblr?
You may say to yourself “I don’t do that. I get it, you don’t wanna be friends” but admit it, you want to post on this like a twitter update the same way I do.
Why is this so hard?
Why do we keep calling out to each other indirectly?
Bradford, I want to be your friend. I want to be able to be friends without everyone else being assholes about it, but I don’t see that happening. I honestly miss the way things were before we even dated (minus the intense flirting) I miss just being friends.

I keep having all of the weirdest of dreams. And I can’t figure out why. It’s getting annoying. I want my dreamless nights back. Those were cool.

Today was 2 years since my Memaw passed away. What do I want to do? Smoke marijuana. What am I doing? Being completely sober, thinking about her. I miss her. :/

We just can’t.
I can’t do it.
Usually when someone asks why you talk to a certain person you can give a valid reason. Every time someone asks me about why I talk to you, I can’t think of a good reason. The only thing I can think of is because it’s familiar. Because you want to. But what do I want? I don’t know. You hurt me. A lot. More than I should allow people to. And we don’t stop fighting. So, this is see you later, because I don’t want to keep being hurt. I’ve realized that I have walls up even for C because of the “relationship” we shared. I just can’t do it.

Well you are the one starting it. You’re being a child about this situation and I’d appreciate it if you stopped.
Why do you always have to push my buttons??

It’s okay that you wipe HER cum off of YOUR face with MY towel.
Too bad it’s not even mine and I bought it for you when you were sweating your ass off.
Oh and, it didn’t have a purpose before, you couldn’t make me cum anyway.

Since I cant brighten my own day, I’ll brighten everyone else’s.